Thank you to those who stopped by last week. Welcome to a new Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday. This week I am continuing to share my WIP from last week. Tentatively called The Discarded, the story takes place in the future, after a great environmental devastation. The world splintered into guilders who live in wealthy, protected cities, procreate through genetic engineering, and have developed telepathic abilities and the Tribers who live in the wild, foraging for food and clean water. The Tribers were on the verge of destroying each other, when the Lore, a contract dressed up as a prophecy emerged, promising a savior and lay down laws to govern coexistence. The Discarded is the story of the arrival of the savior.
Here is the last phrase from last week. “…until he imagined he could smell he superiority of her.”
“I cannot allow this, Anya.” Chakir said under his breath. He had taken to speaking to his dead wife as a way to get through the interminable days with his mother. His father had long ago retreated into his own world, disappearing for weeks at a time on hunting trips, more than required by tribal law. Chakir stopped hunting after he met Anya. Although he had once been one of the best of the Shade hunters, he no longer had a taste for killing. Love can do that to a man.
“I must tell her,” he said again to the ghost of his wife, who lived permanently in his heart and tattooed onto his eyes. He could only see the world through Anya’s ghost. He watched Lordes because he knew she would have wanted him to. “Tonight. I will do it tonight.”
That evening, Chakir did as he always did and sneaked into his daughter’s room to read her a story. Not from the Lore but from the literature that existed in the before times – before the Frenzy and the Lore. He lived for this ritual, this one moment in the day where his daughter belonged only to him.
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Curious to know what it is he’s going to do/tell her. Love the story time ritual.
Coming soon. Thanks.
Interesting insight into the character and this world!
Thanks, Jessica.
Why did he have to sneak into her room? I like how much he treasures the time with his daughter.
Good point Iris. He doesn’t want his mother to know, but then he is her father. I will have to revise. Thanks.
Intriguing world you’ve set up. Really sparks my curiosity. Any man who loves the memory of his wife and lives to spend time with their child is a hero worth knowing.
He’s not the hero, his daughter is. I’m breaking a few rules, I hope I can ultimately make it work.
I feel bad for him. This is a complex world you’re building. I can’t way to read his story arc–and how he frees himself from the grief and from the control that others place on his life.
Thanks, Teresa. Actually, he’s not the main character, his daughter is. This is a different way of introducing her.
Enjoyed the snippet, the emotions come through very clearly. I feel sorry for him!
Thanks, Veronica. I do too.
What would happen if Chakir was caught going into his daughter’s bedroom to read her a story? Is he breaking a law, or is he just going against the wishes of his mother? The second might hold a harsher penalty it seems. Great snippet!
This is some good world building. I look forward to reading more.
I’m intrigued. I love the storytelling ritual. Is there a reason why he has to sneak into her room?
This snippet makes me so curious. I want to know the why of so many details. Good job.
You found a touching way for us to enter what sounds like a grim, post-apocalyptic world.
Sorry for the late visit – I was in deadline hell. But I got the MS in on time!